Monday, March 30, 2015

When Your Friends Hurt (Part Two)

The Backdrop

Please see Part One for the full story.

Within 30 minutes of hanging up with our friends' pastor, who bore the unenviable yet sacred job of conveying terrible news to several people, we had booked a one-way ticket for my husband. He also called his parents to notify them that we likely would need their help soon. We discussed what, how, and when to tell our children that their friend was gone. We went to bed but lay sleepless or restless all night.

The next morning he left for the airport before the kids awakened. I bluffed my way through the breakfast routine and dropped them off as usual, then returned home to face my next tasks: how to get to South Carolina myself. With four kids and a weekend of activities, plus school the next week, I could not just jet off at will.

But then...

The church showed up. Not just those in my local place of worship, but family and friends and colleagues who recognized our need and stepped in to help. Each one was able to help in a specific way, AND THEY DID. Not one person shrugged off.

Thank You


1. My in-laws (MIL and FIL for these purposes): We called Thursday night, knowing that the following morning my sister-in-law was scheduled to deliver her firstborn. Granny is always on call when a baby arrives. This is fact in most families, yes? But she and FIL rearranged their weekend plans to cover for our children, taking turns when necessary, cooking for a small army, overseeing homework, carpooling to football practice, attending church and Bible drill, carpooling to and from school. My FIL in particular got a first-hand look at my daily routine, as MIL eventually joined my SIL to help with the baby. For four solid days he kept up with four loud, energetic kids. We are so grateful for their care...they allowed us to focus on our friends and not worry about our kids back home.

Flying home over Dallas, TX
2. I texted my friend Erin just to share the news. She checked in with me Friday morning, and only then did it occur to me that maybe she could help. Specifically with an airline ticket, since her husband flies for a regional airline. We've done it before for more pleasant outings, but it had not even crossed my mind the previous night. So thanks to her, and her hubby, I flew out Saturday morning (direct!), then home again several days later. They also were able to get my hubby home as well. This saved us hundreds of dollars, no small gift!

3. Sometime on Friday I realized that we were supposed to teach our BFG (Sunday school) class that weekend. One quick note to Bruce Q, who with his wife, Lynn, helps direct our class, and we were covered there. Praise God he was in town, available, and willing.

4. My hubby is a junior high principal in a small town north of Dallas, TX. He called, but had to leave a message for, his superintendent shortly after we received the news. His assistant principal easily stepped in for Friday, but his "supe" eased his mind by graciously encouraging him to go, stay as needed, miss the Monday board meeting, and let his AP cover. Knowing the pressure at work was off allowed him to focus on being all there, unburdened by worries at home.

5. Emotional and prayer support: Seriously, I don't even know if I can name everyone who inquired with sensitivity, texted to say they were praying, cried with us, called to express their sadness for us--because they knew we were grieving as friends as well as grieving for friends. So thank you to all who reached out personally, and you who prayed but didn't say anything. We felt the love.

6. In South Carolina itself, we saw the local church spring into action with efficiency, grace, and affection. Two, maybe three, local churches worked together to coordinate meals, the memorial service, activities for the siblings, pastoral leadership for the parents. It was truly incredible to watch how NewSpring Church, in particular, handled the details of a large, youth-themed funeral service. Jeremy in Greenwood, we appreciate the way you loved on our people. You will make a great campus pastor!

No Gift Too Small


The Bible speaks of spiritual gifts and services within the church. In 1 Corinthians 12: 4-7 we read, "Now there are varieties of gifts but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good." 

A bit later, verse 27, "Now you [plural, as in y'all] are the body of Christ and individually members of it." 

So, collectively, believers comprise the body of Christ, which we more commonly call the church. Individually, each of us has a specific role to play, empowered and enabled by the Lord himself. It can look "spiritual," as in teaching, helping, administrating, and all that. And it can look practical, too, as in babysitting, cooking, sitting with, listening, praying, carpooling, mowing, arranging flights, creating videos, playing "bouncer" to visitors ...

No gift is too small. Each one contributes to the need. Each one is a blessing. Each one shows love. If each one of us will respond with our particular gift or ability, the church will show the world what true love really is.

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things... So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." (1 Cor 13: 7,13)

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